Thursday, July 26, 2007
I"M ON VACATION
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
When Death Does Not Die #1
Recently. a young boy, not in his teens, committed suicide. Why? Possibly for many reasons or, maybe, for no reason at all. We may never know. To many, outside of the hospital staff and the boy’s family, no one will really care. Another "stupid kid" doing a "dumb thing' or a “disturbed child” killed himself. What does it matter? What does it matter?
It matters greatly!
This boy was not "stupid', he was not “off” in any mental way. He was a little boy who was hurting and angry. He was a young boy who made a tragic mistake. Holding the emotions of growing up inside did no good to alleviate the hurting. So he did something traumatic to get his voice heard. He got the attention he was seeking at the expense of his own life. A life this young boy never wanted to give away. Yes, this boy's life mattered and he now knows it. I know it and you know it.
We blew it!
Now the focus turns to the parents, friends and other family. The focus turns to us, society in total. No one is to blame, but feelings of guilt fill the soul and mind of many. Questions. “Why did he kill himself?" “What did I say?" "What didn't I do?" "Could I have stopped him?' Anger and guilt are tangled up in a spaghetti like mosaic, unable to be separated nor understood. Feelings are encountered without reasons.. Are there answers? No, not really. Is there help? Yes, if sought. There are friends, counselors and clergy who are able to share the journey of grief. Most importantly, there is, God, who not sparing His only boy, understands the pain of a non-caring society and the grief of death,
When people hurt; when they grieve and express the myriad of feelings boiling within, God is present. Sometimes God is invited into the pain and depression; sometimes God is ignored, blamed, or even chased away. A pain that is so deep that everything around us seems meaningless. God seems to have abandoned us. Our world is as dark as the grave where the little boy is buried. Yet, God is there.
God Is there!
The boy matters to God. All children and adults matter to God. There is not one life that is forgotten or forsaken by God. Not the unborn, the death row inmates, the homeless, handicapped, or illuminati. Not our soldiers, the terrorists, the politicians or CEOs. Not you, not your family and not me. And definitely not that little boy. Like the sparrows mentioned in Matthew’s gospel. They are valued by God. Our worth in God's view is so much more than that of sparrows. All of us matter to God.
We should matter to each other.
A chorus by Crosby, Stills, and Nash begins:
"Teach your children well, their father's hell,
Will slowly go by... "
We must break the mold of self-destruction. The mold is of our own choosing. However, it cannot be broken by our own means. The Instruments of destruction can only be shattered by God. Respect the children. Listen to their needs. To their pain as well as their joy. Their childhood passes very slowly if the failures of adults are relived daily. Don’t repeat the past failures. Listen. Learn. Understand.
Teach the ways of God. The ways of a moral and ethical life so that right decisions will be made. Teach them the ways of our successes and failures. We often teach them to fall without the means to get up. God directs children to obey parents. The same scripture commands parents not to exasperate, bring hardship upon the children.
Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children Eph. 5: 1(NIV)
It matters greatly!
This boy was not "stupid', he was not “off” in any mental way. He was a little boy who was hurting and angry. He was a young boy who made a tragic mistake. Holding the emotions of growing up inside did no good to alleviate the hurting. So he did something traumatic to get his voice heard. He got the attention he was seeking at the expense of his own life. A life this young boy never wanted to give away. Yes, this boy's life mattered and he now knows it. I know it and you know it.
We blew it!
Now the focus turns to the parents, friends and other family. The focus turns to us, society in total. No one is to blame, but feelings of guilt fill the soul and mind of many. Questions. “Why did he kill himself?" “What did I say?" "What didn't I do?" "Could I have stopped him?' Anger and guilt are tangled up in a spaghetti like mosaic, unable to be separated nor understood. Feelings are encountered without reasons.. Are there answers? No, not really. Is there help? Yes, if sought. There are friends, counselors and clergy who are able to share the journey of grief. Most importantly, there is, God, who not sparing His only boy, understands the pain of a non-caring society and the grief of death,
When people hurt; when they grieve and express the myriad of feelings boiling within, God is present. Sometimes God is invited into the pain and depression; sometimes God is ignored, blamed, or even chased away. A pain that is so deep that everything around us seems meaningless. God seems to have abandoned us. Our world is as dark as the grave where the little boy is buried. Yet, God is there.
God Is there!
The boy matters to God. All children and adults matter to God. There is not one life that is forgotten or forsaken by God. Not the unborn, the death row inmates, the homeless, handicapped, or illuminati. Not our soldiers, the terrorists, the politicians or CEOs. Not you, not your family and not me. And definitely not that little boy. Like the sparrows mentioned in Matthew’s gospel. They are valued by God. Our worth in God's view is so much more than that of sparrows. All of us matter to God.
We should matter to each other.
A chorus by Crosby, Stills, and Nash begins:
"Teach your children well, their father's hell,
Will slowly go by... "
We must break the mold of self-destruction. The mold is of our own choosing. However, it cannot be broken by our own means. The Instruments of destruction can only be shattered by God. Respect the children. Listen to their needs. To their pain as well as their joy. Their childhood passes very slowly if the failures of adults are relived daily. Don’t repeat the past failures. Listen. Learn. Understand.
Teach the ways of God. The ways of a moral and ethical life so that right decisions will be made. Teach them the ways of our successes and failures. We often teach them to fall without the means to get up. God directs children to obey parents. The same scripture commands parents not to exasperate, bring hardship upon the children.
Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children Eph. 5: 1(NIV)
Love and discipline are married, brought together by the authority of God.
To love one another is discipline. To "do unto other as you would went them to do unto you” is a sign of love for self and others (Malt. 7:12). It is painful work to discipline ourselves to be people of love, of integrity, to be people of God.
People of God!
We are people of worth. Sometimes we forget who we are in relationship with God. Very often we forget others in relationship to ourselves.
A little boy is dead. Maybe because he thought his life did not matter. Did his life matter to others? Why bother? For now it matters to me and that is why I write these troubled words. In time this boy’s death will fade from my memory. Forever, to parents and family, his life mattered. His untimely death will not die for them. They will live with the pain of grief and guilt for a long time. Hopefully, with help, they will be healed and live a good life, Life will continue regardless of their emotional state of being.
Life does matter!
This death makes no sense. What makes sense is God. God is caring for this young boy.
I pray God is caring for the survivors.
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